Sister Packer y Elder Hall

 First date since being home was superb. Not as scary as I thought, thank you Zachary Hall.

We did a sweet painting on a canvas we bought at DI. We combined his mission and mine. Ecuador is the foreground with the monkey and little houses in the jungle, then it transitions into the space needle and all my pine trees, mountains, and water front.  It turned out pretty darn good I must say, I was proud of us.
*Also, funny side note, we didn't have some key tools for painting (water cup & pallet) but a water bottle, pocket knife, and a handful of leaves improvised perfectly. :)



I love talking about my mission and hearing about other's experiences on their mission. What was super cool was to talk to someone who had known me so well before the mission and who I had known so well before his mission. The change was so real! Holy smokes! What was super cool is that it was a change, but it was still Lydia and Zach, we were just improved versions of our previous selves. It is a beautiful thing how Heavenly Father molds and shapes his children. We are his works of art, actually to be exactly correct, we are "his work and his glory".

Gems at DI, seems like a flawless plan to me

Paid to Chalk

Back at it again! What a great blessing that one of my first job opportunities that came up week 1 of being home was doing something I loved and missed! It was fun to be able to do a little piece for this wonderful school that Chalk the Block will be raising money for this year. The kids that came up and talked to me while I drew were so sweet and cute. Bre and Dad stopped by partway through and Bre helped me fill in the grass and sky, she's quite the talented little blender. :)

Week 1 Home Thoughts

*a little note I sent to my missionary friends still in the field*
Coming home is wonderful! I don't know how it is in your mission, but among a lot of missionaries I've talked to it seems to be the culture that if you are not weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth about your mission coming to a close you didn't love it enough, or you weren't consecrated enough. I'm here to tell you that is a myth! And a lie of the adversary. The process of finishing my mission was a very spiritual one for me where it was like Heavenly Father had a checklist for all of the things he needed Sister Packer to do and learn while in Seattle, and as I got closer I could feel it shrinking and coming to a close. Until the moment I took off the tag, it was like marking off the last task on the to do list. It was satisfying and gratifying and wonderful. There are people and things I miss from the mission, but it's not a constant pain in my heart like it is for some RMs. If anything, my mission taught me to trust Heavenly Father's plan and timing. He had my back as a missionary and he has it now. That is my testimony, and my experience so far with week 1. We'll see what this next week brings. :) 

Jensen Wedding

It was a beautiful thing to be able to attend a sealing in the temple two days after being home. I'm so grateful for sweet Abbie inviting me to see her and Caleb be sealed to each other for time and all eternity.  There was divine planning in everything that has happened this first week of being home. Heavenly Father has kept me really busy and really optimistic about what's next in my life.

Sweet Abbie has been such a blessing in my life. She is Jessie's BFF and has shaped both of our lives for the better, broadening our perspective on life. I will forever be grateful for my little seestor Abigayle Hall.

RM moment of the night was the dance, oi my body was just not wanting to move and groove to the apostate music haha. I forced myself onto the dance floor though and jammed out.

Escalator Moment

I'm home from my greatest adventure yet. What a blessing to be greeted form my fun bunch. I love my family, it felt right and it felt good to come home. I'm so grateful for my 18 months in Seattle, what a gift from my Heavenly Father.

At various points in I think everyone's mission you think about what your "escalator moment" will be. If you will be sad to leave, relieved, happy, all mixed up, etc. My moment was beautiful. It felt like accomplishing the hardest thing I've ever done with those I love at the finish line. I was just so happy. Happy with my mission, happy with my home.

Frozen Blueberry Parable

BD: Prayer "Prayer is the act by which the will of the Father and the will of the child are brought into correspondence with each other. The object of prayer is not to change the will of God but to secure for ourselves and for others blessings that God is already willing to grant but that are made conditional on our asking for them."

I want to tell you a story about how I got to know this personality trait of our Heavenly Father just a little bit better.

Do you know what one of the best feelings ever is? When Dad or Mom comes home with groceries. Oh man! For our family in the more recent years, Dad has been the grocery man on his way home from work. Whenever he walks in there is that little glimmer of hope that Dad, maybe just maybe, got what you were craving, or reeaaaalllly hoping for. For me my hope is normally frozen blueberries, because I could eat those by the handfuls. 
I found myself searching through the plastic sacks finding cans, bread, milk, eggs, and no blueberries.  Now, my dad knows I like frozen blueberries, it is a common household knowledge. Inside my head I go through, because he knows this, he must have not gotten them on purpose right?! How could he have forget me?! He came home with plenty of food for us to make dinner, have snacks, and in general live but not my favorite! Woe is me! When I was younger I was tempted to take this as a real personal offense. At this point in the routine I’m just a tad disappointed and I say, "Thanks dad. I really am grateful for everything else you brought home… sigh."

Now this may sound a little dramatic, but I’m telling you we do this to our Heavenly Father all the time. Keep reading.

One day, years later, as I was shopping with my dad at the store we were checking things off the list having a grand ole time (like for real I love grocery shopping with my dad it’s the best) at one point in our trip I found myself in the freezer frozen food isle. While my dad was picking out some frozen corn I glanced over at the berries. I don't like asking for things that are unnecessary, I feel guilty about it. But this time I thought, hey might as well ask. It took a little mustering of courage before I looked at him and asked, “Hey uh dad… do you think we could possibly get some frozen blueberries?” “Maybe, for what?” “Mmm… smoothies? …Nah not really I just love them a lot.” Then my dad chuckled at me and said, “Sure.” I was taken aback! I practically floated over to the freezer door to pick out a bag. All I had to do was ask him? I was perfectly okay with a no, in fact I expected a no, but it was a yes. My only reason for asking was because I wanted them, I didn't need them at all. It's not uncommon for my dad to do nice things for me out of the blue, but I didn't realize I could ask for those things. This was a new development.  

In my example I was not asking for huge sugary things that would make me sick, I was asking for frozen blueberries that are full of antioxidants and good things, like joy and happiness. I compare these small things we ask for to the little “put-it-out-there prayers” I‘ll say multiple times a day.  Put-it-out-there prayers are the silly things that you don't feel are necessary, yet you would love for them to happen. Examples of ones I've said before included having an opportunity to go on a date with a specific someone; finding a shirt in the color I would like in the store, "Please help me find clothes that fit, are modest, and will be in budget… and if there is any possibility that it could be blue that’d be great."; in HS it was often to just run into someone at school; before a performance to hit one specific difficult note; something to load quickly because I was late; and even things as simple as remembering what I was looking for. I figure, if it’s a possibility for a blessing then I would still need to ask… so might as well put it out there! Besides, Heavenly Father LOVES ME and YOU. I’m sure He takes pleasure in giving us not only the big blessings, but the little tiny small ones that bring smiles to our faces.
Occasionally, and in fact as I’ve found more often than not, Heavenly Father is happy to give us the big treat like an ice-cream cone or a big ole candy bar. Now, when it’s not those times, don’t be that screaming/crying child that makes everyone else in the store oober uncomfortable and pity your poor parents for raising such a creature. Enjoy it when the answer is yes, say THANK YOU. When the answer is no, then that is okay too, there are still plenty of groceries in the cart and you will still have the opportunity to eat well tonight. Be grateful, eat well, and don’t be afraid to ask for those little blessings, because most of the time when the answer is “No” it is really only “Not this time.” 

Remember, this is Heavenly Father you are talking to. He loves you unconditionally, meaning without condition, there is no clause to His promise. Don’t be afraid to pray all the time in your heart. The quick thank you messages up to heaven while your driving, the prayer before a test to help your memory, and keeping a prayer in your heart is acknowledging His hand in all things throughout your day. 

Ride & Write On

Life is Like Riding a Bicycle. 
To Keep Balance, 
You Must Keep 
Moving. 
-Albert Einstein 

At this point in life it is hard to live in the present. I find myself constantly looking ahead to the unknown of what's next, or looking behind in memory of what was. Dwelling in the past is a fruitless effort, because even if I tried my darndest to not let myself change, to stay in the part of life I am, it wouldn't work. I mean it seems obvious, but it was a bit of a revelation to me today. There is no possible way to live in the past, only dwell on the thoughts of it. Memories are so sweet, so good, and wow I am so lucky to have a past worth missing. In fact I feel an enormous sense of gratitude, my life has been perfect for me. Not easy, but a definite personally designed plan for my growth into who I am supposed to be. The reason I had the past I did was to prepare me for now. Every experience I've had thus far was to prepare me so I can use what I've learned get through today.

The past is a part of my story. But I don't want my story to be a book of flash backs. One does not pick up a book to read only the first few chapters over and over, a good beginning is a foreshadowing to an even better ending right? Just like when I read a book, if something really good happens that makes my heart skip a beat I pause for a second to hold the book close to my chest, breathe deep and love the moment. In the next instance I'm turning pages to see where that moment leads. It's a beautiful thing to remember and acknowledge, but not to dwell. I feel like I'm making the past seem like a sin, it's not. It's beautiful it's why we are it's who we are, but think of who we can become because of it. I don't know about you, but this plot line is moving forward full speed ahead.

Today is to create another experience worth living in.

*Also side-note: Dwelling in the past brings acne, my sister Nicole said that yesterday and it blew my mind by the accuracy thereof. I never really get acne, except all at once for short bursts of time, and it's always after big changes. It's dwelling in the past for sure; if that's not motivation to keep moving than I don't know what is!